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#!/usr/bin/perl
##############################################################################
# Cliff's Banner Rotator Version 3.01 #
# Copyright 1998 Shaven Ferret Productions #
# Created 7/8/98 Last Modified 09/10/01 #
# Available at http://www.shavenferret.com/scripts #
##############################################################################
# COPYRIGHT NOTICE #
# Copyright 1998 Shaven Ferret Productions All Rights Reserved. #
# #
# This script can be used free of charge so long as you don't change any #
# part of it. By using this script you agree to indemnify me from any #
# liability that might arise from its use. In simple English, if this #
# script somehow makes your computer run amuck and kill the pope, it's not #
# my fault. #
# #
# Redistributing\selling the code for this program without prior written #
# consent is expressly forbidden. #
##############################################################################
require "ad-lib.cgi";
&setup;
open(FILE,"$datadir/main.txt");
@banners = ;
close(FILE);
print "Content-type: text/html\n\n";
srand;
$i = int(rand(250));
if ($i != 64) {
for ($i = $#banners; $i >= 0; $i--) {
($filenum,$weight,$inactive,$hideit,$hidetext,$hideact) = split(/\|/, $banners[$i]);
if ($inactive == 0 && ($hideit == 0 || ($hideit && ($ENV{'DOCUMENT_URI'} =~ /$hidetext/ && $hideact == -1) || ($ENV{'DOCUMENT_URI'} !~ /$hidetext/ && $hideact == 0)))) {
for ($j = 1; $j <= $weight; $j++) { splice(@okbanners,0,0,"$filenum|$i"); }
}
}
$bannernum = int(rand($#okbanners+1));
($filenum,$linenum) = split(/\|/,$okbanners[$bannernum]);
open(FILE,"$datadir/h$filenum.txt");
@lines = ;
close(FILE);
print "$lines[1]";
($trackctr,$java,$dimp,$imp,$dctr,$ctr,$ddate,$lmonth,$lday,$lyear,$conditions,$autoact,$email) = split(/\|/, $lines[0]);
open(FILE,"$datadir/c$filenum.txt");
$temp = ;
close(FILE);
($aimp,$actr) = split(/\|/,$temp);
$aimp++;
open(FILE,">$datadir/c$filenum.txt");
print FILE "$aimp|$actr";
close(FILE);
if ($dimp || $dctr || $ddate) { &checkdel; }
}
# Changing or deleting the following line of this script is illegal.
else { print "![](\"http://www.shavenferret.com/scripts/givelink/banner4.gif\")
Banner Rotator from Cliff's Perl Scripts
\n"; }
sub checkdel {
if ($dimp && $aimp >= $imp) { $true = -1; }
elsif ($dimp) { $false = -1; }
if ($dctr && $actr >= $ctr - 1) { $true = -1; }
elsif ($dctr) { $false = -1; }
if ($ddate) {
&getdate;
$lmonth++;
if (($year > $lyear) || ($year == $lyear && $mon > $lmonth) || ($year == $lyear && $mon == $lmonth && $mday >= $lday)) { $true = -1; }
else { $false = -1; }
}
if ($true && ($conditions == 0 || $false == 0)) { &deleteone; }
}
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Jill's Zine Reviews
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Jills Rating System:
| Nescafe................ | Don't bother. Not even worth spilling your latte on.
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| House Blend......... | Run of the mill. Slightly interesting, neither fantastic nor crappy.
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| Moccacinno........... | Fluffy eye candy. Yummy, clever and achingly hip.
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| Espresso.............. | Beautifully put together. Sweet, to the point, not stuffed with superfluous ads and razor
thin bimbos. Informative and relevant.
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FHM
Now, Jill really does love Maxim. It's funny and juvenile, and has big tittied women.
And Details is slick, and nice to look at. And so are a number of other men's magazines. But FHM is pretty
crappy.
R
The reason that Jill came into possession of FHM is that included in this month's issue is a small
perfect bound booklet full of the most disgusting and depraved shit you ever did see. Thousand pound men,
people without noses, conjoined twins, dismembered bodies and some of the most messed up, benighted, poor
and sorry souls you ever did see in print. Some freaky ass shit.
The booklet was great, and all that is
promised to be, but the acutual magazine is lousy. Largely incoherent, and mostly unfunny. The big tittied
girls don't even make up for the lukewarm writing and second rate layout.
Jill gives FHM a Nescafe, but it you liked Ripley's
Believe it or Not, pick up this months issue just for the little book of freaky ass shit. Worth every
gut wrenching penny.
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