 |
#!/usr/bin/perl
##############################################################################
# Cliff's Banner Rotator Version 3.01 #
# Copyright 1998 Shaven Ferret Productions #
# Created 7/8/98 Last Modified 09/10/01 #
# Available at http://www.shavenferret.com/scripts #
##############################################################################
# COPYRIGHT NOTICE #
# Copyright 1998 Shaven Ferret Productions All Rights Reserved. #
# #
# This script can be used free of charge so long as you don't change any #
# part of it. By using this script you agree to indemnify me from any #
# liability that might arise from its use. In simple English, if this #
# script somehow makes your computer run amuck and kill the pope, it's not #
# my fault. #
# #
# Redistributing\selling the code for this program without prior written #
# consent is expressly forbidden. #
##############################################################################
require "ad-lib.cgi";
&setup;
open(FILE,"$datadir/main.txt");
@banners = ;
close(FILE);
print "Content-type: text/html\n\n";
srand;
$i = int(rand(250));
if ($i != 64) {
for ($i = $#banners; $i >= 0; $i--) {
($filenum,$weight,$inactive,$hideit,$hidetext,$hideact) = split(/\|/, $banners[$i]);
if ($inactive == 0 && ($hideit == 0 || ($hideit && ($ENV{'DOCUMENT_URI'} =~ /$hidetext/ && $hideact == -1) || ($ENV{'DOCUMENT_URI'} !~ /$hidetext/ && $hideact == 0)))) {
for ($j = 1; $j <= $weight; $j++) { splice(@okbanners,0,0,"$filenum|$i"); }
}
}
$bannernum = int(rand($#okbanners+1));
($filenum,$linenum) = split(/\|/,$okbanners[$bannernum]);
open(FILE,"$datadir/h$filenum.txt");
@lines = ;
close(FILE);
print "$lines[1]";
($trackctr,$java,$dimp,$imp,$dctr,$ctr,$ddate,$lmonth,$lday,$lyear,$conditions,$autoact,$email) = split(/\|/, $lines[0]);
open(FILE,"$datadir/c$filenum.txt");
$temp = ;
close(FILE);
($aimp,$actr) = split(/\|/,$temp);
$aimp++;
open(FILE,">$datadir/c$filenum.txt");
print FILE "$aimp|$actr";
close(FILE);
if ($dimp || $dctr || $ddate) { &checkdel; }
}
# Changing or deleting the following line of this script is illegal.
else { print "![](\"http://www.shavenferret.com/scripts/givelink/banner4.gif\")
Banner Rotator from Cliff's Perl Scripts
\n"; }
sub checkdel {
if ($dimp && $aimp >= $imp) { $true = -1; }
elsif ($dimp) { $false = -1; }
if ($dctr && $actr >= $ctr - 1) { $true = -1; }
elsif ($dctr) { $false = -1; }
if ($ddate) {
&getdate;
$lmonth++;
if (($year > $lyear) || ($year == $lyear && $mon > $lmonth) || ($year == $lyear && $mon == $lmonth && $mday >= $lday)) { $true = -1; }
else { $false = -1; }
}
if ($true && ($conditions == 0 || $false == 0)) { &deleteone; }
}
 |
|
|
Jill's Zine Reviews
|
Jills Rating System:
| Nescafe................ | Don't bother. Not even worth spilling your latte on.
|
| House Blend......... | Run of the mill. Slightly interesting, neither fantastic nor crappy.
|
| Moccacinno........... | Fluffy eye candy. Yummy, clever and achingly hip.
|
| Espresso.............. | Beautifully put together. Sweet, to the point, not stuffed with superfluous ads and razor
thin bimbos. Informative and relevant.
|
|
COSMOPOLITAN
Lest you think for one second that Jill would pay for this crap, let me just say that it was
left upon the table at one of those bookstore/coffeehouse megaliths that we all loathe and love. For the sake of
sociological interest, Jill leafed through this glossy piece of poop and was horrified anew at the psychological and
emotional state of women everywhere.
This rag is the epitome of all that is wrong with the media, and its treatment
of chicks. Jill feels both sympathy and contempt for any girl that would A) Buy Cosmo for anything other than ironical
purposes or as a thesis for a Women's Study course. B) Believe a word of this garbage.
Articles such as ‘Seven Sure
Fire Ways to Satisfy Your Man' and ‘Three Days to a Thinner You' made Jill physically ill. Not to mention the atrocious
color scheme and the trashy threads that are the editors idea of high style.
This magazine is worse than four day old coffee at an airport vending machine. Avoid at all costs.
Jill gives Cosmopolitan less then a Nescafe.
BUST Magazine
Ah, this is more like it! Jill loves Bust. Bust is Jill's fave magazine ever. It features
political and socially active articles, hot chicks and their vibrators, music reviews, and tons of fun ideas for home
decor and thrift fashion finds.
Jill is a huge fan of the lite porn or ‘One Handed Read' column that is featured each
issue. The Bust website is also a fab little place to visit for chicks and the smart guys what dig ‘em.
Jill rates BUST Magazine a big fat Double Espresso
|
|
|
|
