#!/usr/bin/perl ############################################################################## # Cliff's Banner Rotator Version 3.01 # # Copyright 1998 Shaven Ferret Productions # # Created 7/8/98 Last Modified 09/10/01 # # Available at http://www.shavenferret.com/scripts # ############################################################################## # COPYRIGHT NOTICE # # Copyright 1998 Shaven Ferret Productions All Rights Reserved. # # # # This script can be used free of charge so long as you don't change any # # part of it. By using this script you agree to indemnify me from any # # liability that might arise from its use. In simple English, if this # # script somehow makes your computer run amuck and kill the pope, it's not # # my fault. # # # # Redistributing\selling the code for this program without prior written # # consent is expressly forbidden. # ############################################################################## require "ad-lib.cgi"; &setup; open(FILE,"$datadir/main.txt"); @banners = ; close(FILE); print "Content-type: text/html\n\n"; srand; $i = int(rand(250)); if ($i != 64) { for ($i = $#banners; $i >= 0; $i--) { ($filenum,$weight,$inactive,$hideit,$hidetext,$hideact) = split(/\|/, $banners[$i]); if ($inactive == 0 && ($hideit == 0 || ($hideit && ($ENV{'DOCUMENT_URI'} =~ /$hidetext/ && $hideact == -1) || ($ENV{'DOCUMENT_URI'} !~ /$hidetext/ && $hideact == 0)))) { for ($j = 1; $j <= $weight; $j++) { splice(@okbanners,0,0,"$filenum|$i"); } } } $bannernum = int(rand($#okbanners+1)); ($filenum,$linenum) = split(/\|/,$okbanners[$bannernum]); open(FILE,"$datadir/h$filenum.txt"); @lines = ; close(FILE); print "$lines[1]"; ($trackctr,$java,$dimp,$imp,$dctr,$ctr,$ddate,$lmonth,$lday,$lyear,$conditions,$autoact,$email) = split(/\|/, $lines[0]); open(FILE,"$datadir/c$filenum.txt"); $temp = ; close(FILE); ($aimp,$actr) = split(/\|/,$temp); $aimp++; open(FILE,">$datadir/c$filenum.txt"); print FILE "$aimp|$actr"; close(FILE); if ($dimp || $dctr || $ddate) { &checkdel; } } # Changing or deleting the following line of this script is illegal. else { print "

Banner Rotator from Cliff's Perl Scripts

\n"; } sub checkdel { if ($dimp && $aimp >= $imp) { $true = -1; } elsif ($dimp) { $false = -1; } if ($dctr && $actr >= $ctr - 1) { $true = -1; } elsif ($dctr) { $false = -1; } if ($ddate) { &getdate; $lmonth++; if (($year > $lyear) || ($year == $lyear && $mon > $lmonth) || ($year == $lyear && $mon == $lmonth && $mday >= $lday)) { $true = -1; } else { $false = -1; } } if ($true && ($conditions == 0 || $false == 0)) { &deleteone; } }










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Jill's Zine Reviews
Jills Rating System:

Nescafe................ Don't bother. Not even worth spilling your latte on.
House Blend.........Run of the mill. Slightly interesting, neither fantastic nor crappy.
Moccacinno...........Fluffy eye candy. Yummy, clever and achingly hip.
Espresso..............Beautifully put together. Sweet, to the point, not stuffed with superfluous ads and razor thin bimbos. Informative and relevant.


MAXIM

    You want to hate it. It's like Cosmo for men. It makes you all look as dumb as most women have always believed you to be. But the truth of the matter is, Maxim is a great magazine.It's trash, and it speaks to the troglodyte in us all. It's funny, and peurile. Everyone wants big tittied girls in too tight shirts in the center spread, especially Jill.

     The sex articles are How-To's that are usually written or reviewed by girls, and are actually pretty informative. The columns are very very funny. Jill read Maxim cover to cover, and then begged her male friends (who are all loathe to admit that they read this junk) for more copies. What can I say? It's a great little read, super glossy and thick, just the way I like it.

Jill gives MAXIM a Moccacinno.




DETAILS

    Jill remembers back in the day when DETAILS was an edgy publication that featured great musicians, great clothes, and fabulous layout. It wasn't a boys mag back then, but a cultural commentary that was hip and slick. Now, sadly, it has to compete with the likes of Stuff, FHM, and Maxim, and while it's certainly classier, boasts better photography and design, it's become, despite it's scantily clad cover models, a little stuffy when stacked against the other boys magazines. Or perhaps that's just because it doesn't target the slack jawed frat boy crowd.

    Still pretty to look at, but not so much fun to read, Jill worries that DETAILS might not be able to keep up with the younger boys.

Jill gives DETAILS a Moccacinno, just for the fond memories.