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#!/usr/bin/perl
##############################################################################
# Cliff's Banner Rotator Version 3.01 #
# Copyright 1998 Shaven Ferret Productions #
# Created 7/8/98 Last Modified 09/10/01 #
# Available at http://www.shavenferret.com/scripts #
##############################################################################
# COPYRIGHT NOTICE #
# Copyright 1998 Shaven Ferret Productions All Rights Reserved. #
# #
# This script can be used free of charge so long as you don't change any #
# part of it. By using this script you agree to indemnify me from any #
# liability that might arise from its use. In simple English, if this #
# script somehow makes your computer run amuck and kill the pope, it's not #
# my fault. #
# #
# Redistributing\selling the code for this program without prior written #
# consent is expressly forbidden. #
##############################################################################
require "ad-lib.cgi";
&setup;
open(FILE,"$datadir/main.txt");
@banners = ;
close(FILE);
print "Content-type: text/html\n\n";
srand;
$i = int(rand(250));
if ($i != 64) {
for ($i = $#banners; $i >= 0; $i--) {
($filenum,$weight,$inactive,$hideit,$hidetext,$hideact) = split(/\|/, $banners[$i]);
if ($inactive == 0 && ($hideit == 0 || ($hideit && ($ENV{'DOCUMENT_URI'} =~ /$hidetext/ && $hideact == -1) || ($ENV{'DOCUMENT_URI'} !~ /$hidetext/ && $hideact == 0)))) {
for ($j = 1; $j <= $weight; $j++) { splice(@okbanners,0,0,"$filenum|$i"); }
}
}
$bannernum = int(rand($#okbanners+1));
($filenum,$linenum) = split(/\|/,$okbanners[$bannernum]);
open(FILE,"$datadir/h$filenum.txt");
@lines = ;
close(FILE);
print "$lines[1]";
($trackctr,$java,$dimp,$imp,$dctr,$ctr,$ddate,$lmonth,$lday,$lyear,$conditions,$autoact,$email) = split(/\|/, $lines[0]);
open(FILE,"$datadir/c$filenum.txt");
$temp = ;
close(FILE);
($aimp,$actr) = split(/\|/,$temp);
$aimp++;
open(FILE,">$datadir/c$filenum.txt");
print FILE "$aimp|$actr";
close(FILE);
if ($dimp || $dctr || $ddate) { &checkdel; }
}
# Changing or deleting the following line of this script is illegal.
else { print "![](\"http://www.shavenferret.com/scripts/givelink/banner4.gif\")
Banner Rotator from Cliff's Perl Scripts
\n"; }
sub checkdel {
if ($dimp && $aimp >= $imp) { $true = -1; }
elsif ($dimp) { $false = -1; }
if ($dctr && $actr >= $ctr - 1) { $true = -1; }
elsif ($dctr) { $false = -1; }
if ($ddate) {
&getdate;
$lmonth++;
if (($year > $lyear) || ($year == $lyear && $mon > $lmonth) || ($year == $lyear && $mon == $lmonth && $mday >= $lday)) { $true = -1; }
else { $false = -1; }
}
if ($true && ($conditions == 0 || $false == 0)) { &deleteone; }
}
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Jill's Movie Reviews
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There are many different types of coffee, and I don't mean the flavors. There is the
coffee -at- the- diner -after- you've- been- drinking- all- night -coffee. There is the
just- woke -up- got -a -mean- hangover coffee. There is the thoughtfully- contemplating-
life -as- I -write -in -my- journal -at- the- café -coffee. (Haaahaahohhaaaahheeeee.
Just let me stop laughing for a minute. There. Much better now.) And then there is Jill's
personal favorite, the coffee- after- the- movie- to -debate- the- film- coffee.
In honor of Jill's fave coffee, we here at Coffee Club are pleased to present our new column, The Movie Review.
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Planet Of The Apes (2001)
Jill's a broke and slack ass bitch, so she didn't get a chance to see a new film to review.
Therefore, she will review for you Tim Burton's Planet Of the Apes. This movie is great fun. Think of it as more
of a tribute to the original series than as a serious film in its own right.
Planet of the Apes is laden with sexual overtones. There is always the possibility of
some hot monkey love lurking in the next scene. Mark Wahlberg is hilariously oblivious to the hot savage chicks
around him and is instead inexplicably attracted to an APE! A damn dirty ape!
Tim Roth's make up is spectacular,
and the costumes and sets are completely grandiose and overblown. This movie was the first film that Jill had seen
in a long time where the audience was cheering for the hero, clapping for some of the more classic lines, and stood
in ovation at the finale.
Planet of the Apes is deliberately campy, with the most fabulous fight scenes and an almost
palpable smell of monkey pheremones. This is classic Tim Burton, if your a fan of the man with the scissors
for hands, don't miss this ape-xtravaganza.
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