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Donut Shop Conundrum
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Just about everywhere you look, here in Toronto, you are bound to spot a Donut shop. Big ones,
small ones,plain ones, tall ones, just about all shapes and sizes. While you will find some independents, most are part
of a donut chain.
To make thing easy for you, our favorite of people. We have focused mainly on the larger chains of donut shops. We figure
you will run into these in most places across canada, though we have not checked. If you find yourself in Toronto, and
in deperate need of coffee, perhaps our little article can give you the fix you need.
The contenders:
- Tim Horton's
- Country Style
- Coffee Time
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Tim Horton's
We'll cut to the chase. This is arguably the best of the bunch, although we are alarmed at
the way they are EVERYWHERE. Think about it. You are right now probably within five blocks of a Tim Horton's. Isn't
that freaky? Like Starbucks' older, poorer, white trash cousin.
Their interiors are somewhat better then average, with updated modern looks and less of
that old world charm
found in many a donut shop. Much like fast food restaurants their tables and chairs are bolted down. This is
probably a good thing, because then you don't have to give up your extra seats to the little league hockey team
that just come in for their truck load of Timbits and gallons of that red juice stuff that's been circulating in
the juice machine since 1976.
Tom Horton's also sports a large soup and sandwich selection, plus the ubiquitus beagle with
assorted cream cheeses.
Jack Says
Coffee: Medium Double Double
Our coffee came in a mug, because we asked for it that way. What this means though is that
they make it for you behind the counter with two sugars and two creams.
I drink Tim Horton's coffee often, and usually they use small teaspoons to portion out their
sugar. This particular location though, was using a much larger spoon. My two sugars taste like three, and it was
much sweeter then I expected.
Donut: Maple Dip
This is a cream filled affair with a sugary maple flavoured top. I thought the dough had a
light and fresh flavour and the cream filling was creamy and yummy.
In my opinion, this is the donut to beat. Probably full of oil,sugar and cream, but most likely why it's so tasty.
Then again, how often do most people pass on deep fried dough?
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Jill Says
Coffee: Medium Double Double
Obviously, donut shops have some other method for measuring sugar amounts that most people
are unaware of. Perhaps they are using shovels to portion out their sugar. They should not. They should use
teaspoons like the rest of the goddamn world.
Much to suhweet! My teeth hurt.
Donut: Maple Dip
Creamy centred, ridiculously sweet maple glaze. Fairly fresh.
Do you think that they serve maple dip in
other countries, or is this a uniquely Canadian phenomenon? Come to think of it, are there donut shops
EVERYWHERE in other countries like there are here? Why are there so many donut shops? Why not tart shops?
Why not cake shops? Why not, for the love of the gods, cookie shops? Ahh, the cookie shop. I'll take a
half dozen warm moist cookies to go, please.
Methinks that I have had way too much sugar. I am starting
to feel spinny and ill. See, if I ate at a cookie shop instead, this probably wouldn't happen, with the
forehead feeling tight and hot and the itchy need to scratch myself ALL OVER in public, good lord, why are
those old people looking at us like that?
Why oh why oh why do they put so much sweetener in all their
coffee and desserts? Does Mister Tim Horton want me to feel this way, with my skin all crawly and the
lights too bright and my tongue moving way too fast wheeeeeeee.
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Country Style
Surprisingly inoffensive, their interior is somewhat dated, but doesn't fall into that
70's feel. Relatively clean with a comfortable assortment of booths and the regular cleaning of tables. If you
are stuck for lunch and in a rush, Country Style has a soup ‘n' sandwich menu that is pretty expansive.
They also boast the usual array of glistening donuts and crullers. What the hell is a
cruller, anyhow? Why the mysterious and vaguely filthy name for this lumpy hunk of overcooked dough?
Jack Says
Coffee: Medium Double Double
As you can see, I like my coffee in a mug. It's much better then a paper cup, and so much
better then styrofoam(yuk!). If you're staying in the donut shop, as for a mug. It might not be the best coffee,
but at least you're giving it a fair chance.
This particular coffee was right on the line. It did not scream "I'm terrible! Throw me the
fuck out before you vomit!", what it did do is not offend. In the end though, it was not very full bodied and it did not
have a lot of flavour. It was just alright.
Donut: Chocolate Glazed
I love chocolate. I love it in many forms and on many people. I love it in cake, in liquids, and
in solids. I'd love to smear it on my body, run naked in the woods, and howl at the full moon, but that's another
story.
The chocolate in this story is in the familiar donut shape. It's a cake tasting donut, with a sugary glaze on top. This
one was not stale, but still had a slight staleness. I've had better, and fresher, but it was a pretty good donut overall
and nothing really to complain about.
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Jill Says
Coffee: Medium Double Double
Oh, god. Choking on sugary coffee water. Actually, the coffee wasn't too terrible.
Reminiscent of the coffee that someone in your family inevitably brews after a rather heavy meal that has
involved a lot of dry over cooked poultry and a lot of fighting.
Donut: Chocolate Glazed
Fresh-ish. Way too sweet and way too sticky. But now we have no enamel left on our teeth.
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Coffee Time
This donut chain is the bottom of the barrel and it multiplies like a cockroach. In
the downtown Toronto core, you can literally find a Coffee Time every city block.
The interior of this location was badly lite, with dark brown tones for the floor and walls.
There were
tables and chairs seemingly placed at random and the best (or worst) part was the eerie lighting over the donuts
behind the counter.
Jack Says
Coffee: Medium Double Double
Sour swill. This coffee taste mostly of hot water, which might be its saving grace. The coffee
flavour was just terrible, leaning towards twice-used coffee grounds.
In my mispent youth, I had me more then one cup of this crap, and everytime it taste the
same. At least they can say
they are consistant, I just hope they are not proud of screwing honest hardworking coffee drinkers, out of a $1.
Donut: Chocolate Dipped
Oh yuck. Now this would not be my first choice of donut on most occations, but I've had my
fair share of chocolate dipped. This one had two problems. First, it was not very fresh and second it taste like they
used last weeks oil.
I've gave up patronizing this Coffee Time long ago, but I can still remember the other fabulously
bad donut creations I had there. It seems that they just can't get anything right.
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Jill Says
‘Can't talk, coming down.' Superfluous neon tubing, wobbly tables and chairs. Jill hurts.
Jack is sick. Donut shops are bad, and this one is the worst. I hate donuts. I hate donut
shop coffee. I want to go home. I don't want to be on this mission any more. I want my mommy.
Coffee: Medium Double Double
There is no way I am drinking this.
Donut: Chocolate Dipped
It's a sticky donut. They are all much alike.
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Yikes. I'm sure you got the idea that both Jack and Jill found this particular assignment quite
draining. We have never run into this much bad coffee in one day, and it just is not healthy. Add to that the
deep dried dough and you can see how the day must have ended.
Jack has always had a fondness for the coffee beverage found at Tim Horton's, but this experience
has showed him that even Timmy's isn't making the best joe. When if comes to good coffee, we at Coffee Club Online could
drink pot after pot, but here in the world of donuts, we are beat viciouly and soundly.
We hope that our little journey into the dirty ground of coffee has been informative. Of course
we would be remiss if we did not tip our hats to those that slug it out everyday with brew that is less then good. You,
our estimed space monkeys, have stronger stomachs then we could ever muster.
Cheers!
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