"Redefining the café experience" the menu at the Plantation broadly proclaims.
Perhaps. One normally expects a dark, cramped and smoky interior when one enters a café. The Plantation
boasts ultra high ceilings with elegantly exposed duct work and grilles, with well executed murals adorn
the walls. There is also an appropriate roster of jazz and lounge music on the sound system.
The Plantation Coffee House
Each small table features armchairs instead of hard chairs, and the seats are in
perfect proportion to the tables, one can reach one's beverages with a minimum of effort. There is a
fabbo couch, and the coffee table, too, seems to have been specially constructed in proportion to the couch.
The menu features two coffees, House and Prime. Also a tidy assortment of cinnos,
cappes, and lattes. For the wusses amongst us, there are fruit smoothies and teas on tap.
But what about the service? Ye gods, the service! Abominable. Truly.
The wait staff is utterly lacking in the mental telepathy which Jill always
assumed was a hiring prerequisite. Jack says to cut them some slack, because after all, we were
patronizing the Scarborough branch of the Plantation Coffee House. But Jill says that geography is no
damn excuse for poor service.
We had to wait an interminable amount of time just to get our measly damn coffees.
Then half a freakin hour to get our bill once we had completed our repast. The only instance wherein the
really, really, really bad service worked in our favor was when they bought us the most huge assed piece
‘o' cake that you have ever seen. A mistake, they apologized. Ah well, the more for us.
So props for the decor, and the yummy stuff. But we advise that you be prepared
to wait, and wait and wait. So make sure you have all the time in the world before you decide that you
want to redefine your café experience.
Our bill read Jamocha Almond, but I am Jill's assurance that there were no
almonds, nor any Jamocha to be found in this veritable Mt. Everest of a slice ‘o' cake.
A Slab For Jill
The server overshot the mark when she served up this slab. Ridiculous
amounts of cakiness, coated in brownies, of all things. Spattered with peanuts, and some sort
of sticky caramelesque goodness.
This one took a good long while to tackle, and even then, we were unable,
yes, physically unable to finish the slice, let alone even look at it any longer without heading
for the Pepto Bismol.
There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. This peanut butter
brownie chocolatey yumness was just way far too much.
What About The Coffee Jack?
House Blend: Jack loves this coffee. It has a rightness about it that just
says..drink me. Any time of the day, or night I would be happy with a cup of this house blend. Mild
in flavour, with a perfectly balanced body. Yummy!
Prime Blend: This one has African beans in it, and you can tell. It has
an earth tone, with a touch of sour on top. Jack likes this kinda coffee, but it isn't for
everyone. Here, again, it is a well blanced coffee, which makes it easy drinking, even for an exotic.